1. |
Penance
03:48
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Penance
Haven't I suffered enough?
Haven't I endured this misery for too long?
When people ask me, if I could rid the world of one thing, what would it be?
The obvious answer would be me
Penance
Penance
Please forgive me
Please release me
Penance
Penance
Please forgive me
Please release me
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2. |
Deathwish
06:27
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Deathwish
This endless fear of growing old
And turning into someone that I never wanted to be
Tired, broken and empty
I'll grow old, and you'll tire of me
I'll grow old, and won't be the man I used to be
I am lost inside my own head
Instead of change, I've dreamt of death
I am lost within my own dreams
Only in my head
I am so afraid, that all I am will wither away
I will grow old
And you'll tire of me
I'll grow old, and senses fail
I'll grow old
I'll grow old, and you'll tire of me
I'd rather not see
The man I know I'll be
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3. |
Happy Fucking Whatever
03:37
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Another year, another empty shell
Another day, another sun in hell
I can't breathe
As death creeps up on me
We cheer as our bones grow weak
We rejoice as our insides bleed
Do we try to hide our grief
Or do we really believe, that we are all free?
Happy fucking whatever
Another date to pass the time
Happy fucking whatever
As the feelings die
Happy fucking whatever
As we say goodbye
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4. |
Dear Depression
05:30
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Dear depression:
I have spoken of the fear and turmoil, that surrounds me
I have shed my skin, so you all could see within me
But this sickness is not what defines me
This pain is not what controls me
Shaped by an imperfect mold
In days of comfort, an inescapable chill
The shadow on my back
Waiting to kill, but it never will
You see this depression as a curse, but in reality it's a friend
The only constant, that won't leave me in the end
You blame the curse in me but it was never my will
It was never my choise to let this sickness breathe
To let this sickness breathe
Acceptance, joy in a glimpse
Forgiveness, for the pain within
Sorrow, for the sleepless nights
Relief, that I'm still alive
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5. |
The Worst in Me
06:25
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Sickness
An aching pain
I hate myself enough to not love you
Every breath I take is breeding death
I can't fathom the sense of love
When I can't see any worth in my existence
I once cared
I once loved
But the scars on my heart was an infection
And the only thing it hasn't touched is my worthlessness
I hate myself, for not being able to give
I hate myself, for being me
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6. |
Undeserved
04:11
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Am I not allowed, to feel some sort of comfort?
The looming presence of darkness, seems to linger
I never asked for this
This sickness
I never asked to be ill
I betray myself
With the disgust that lives in me
This looming darkness
Breathing down my neck
"I'll never be loved"
How can I deserve your love
When I don't deserve to live?
How can I deserve forgivness
When I can't forgive myself?
This aching body is sure to fall
This aching heart is sure to break
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7. |
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I was meant to bleed
I never deserved the hope you brought
A hatred growing slowly
That now has overtaken me
Sleepwaking
Awake but not alive
You're alive in me
But not in my heart
Trembling steps in my head
But you seem so far away
It's always me
Always my fault
Don't let my worthlessness
Tell you that you can't get far
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8. |
Lost
05:15
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I've been left here
To wither away
It's but a small misstep
In life's decay
I always knew
Always knew
A son
A dissapointment
I could have been
Should have been
So much more
I used to be so much more
But somewhere along the way
Life had another plan for me
And now I'm rotting in my own self pity
I used to be
I used to feel
I used to be so much more
I used to care so much more
I always knew
A son
A dissapointment
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9. |
Replacements
04:37
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In a glimpse, you turned everything on it's head
The darkness saw a light it never had
But as time went by, the once peaceful sky
Became a stain in my eyes
And I know that my once youthfull presence became a thorn in your eye
It was what I feared the most
The fact that my once cheerful smile would become a knife in your sides
The way you fell asleep on the couch was cute at first, but when you chose that over the bed was when it hurt
I used to love the way you bit your teeth, but now it's just a boneyard of where your smile used to be
It's not the fact that you're pushing me away, it's the thought of someone taking my place.
To know that all I could be was never enough to make you happy
It was always about myself
Even now when someone has taken my place
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10. |
Passenger
05:56
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I don't know who I am
I don't care who I am
It's just something inside
That makes me fall apart
I fall apart
It's all I know
I'm just passing through
On my way to the end
It's just something inside
That makes me fall apart
I fall apart
It's all I know
To fail and to fall
Is all I am
I'm just passing through
On my way to the end
It's not something I can escape
A passenger
I fall apart
It's all I know
To fail and fall
Is all I am
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11. |
It's Always My Fault
09:49
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12. |
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Stig Erklev Norway
Just a guy from Norway making some metal! I also play bass for the black metal band Flukt. Drop a like on my Facebook
@Searchingthearchitect for the latest updates!
You can also find most of my music on Spotify / iTunes
\(•v•)/
... more
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