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We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Dear Depression

by Searching The Architect

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1.
Penance 03:48
Penance Haven't I suffered enough? Haven't I endured this misery for too long? When people ask me, if I could rid the world of one thing, what would it be? The obvious answer would be me Penance Penance Please forgive me Please release me Penance Penance Please forgive me Please release me
2.
Deathwish 06:27
Deathwish This endless fear of growing old And turning into someone that I never wanted to be Tired, broken and empty I'll grow old, and you'll tire of me I'll grow old, and won't be the man I used to be I am lost inside my own head Instead of change, I've dreamt of death I am lost within my own dreams Only in my head I am so afraid, that all I am will wither away I will grow old And you'll tire of me I'll grow old, and senses fail I'll grow old I'll grow old, and you'll tire of me I'd rather not see The man I know I'll be
3.
Another year, another empty shell Another day, another sun in hell I can't breathe As death creeps up on me We cheer as our bones grow weak We rejoice as our insides bleed Do we try to hide our grief Or do we really believe, that we are all free? Happy fucking whatever Another date to pass the time Happy fucking whatever As the feelings die Happy fucking whatever As we say goodbye
4.
Dear depression: I have spoken of the fear and turmoil, that surrounds me I have shed my skin, so you all could see within me But this sickness is not what defines me This pain is not what controls me Shaped by an imperfect mold In days of comfort, an inescapable chill The shadow on my back Waiting to kill, but it never will You see this depression as a curse, but in reality it's a friend The only constant, that won't leave me in the end You blame the curse in me but it was never my will It was never my choise to let this sickness breathe To let this sickness breathe Acceptance, joy in a glimpse Forgiveness, for the pain within Sorrow, for the sleepless nights Relief, that I'm still alive
5.
Sickness An aching pain I hate myself enough to not love you Every breath I take is breeding death I can't fathom the sense of love When I can't see any worth in my existence I once cared I once loved But the scars on my heart was an infection And the only thing it hasn't touched is my worthlessness I hate myself, for not being able to give I hate myself, for being me
6.
Undeserved 04:11
Am I not allowed, to feel some sort of comfort? The looming presence of darkness, seems to linger I never asked for this This sickness I never asked to be ill I betray myself With the disgust that lives in me This looming darkness Breathing down my neck "I'll never be loved" How can I deserve your love When I don't deserve to live? How can I deserve forgivness When I can't forgive myself? This aching body is sure to fall This aching heart is sure to break
7.
I was meant to bleed I never deserved the hope you brought A hatred growing slowly That now has overtaken me Sleepwaking Awake but not alive You're alive in me But not in my heart Trembling steps in my head But you seem so far away It's always me Always my fault Don't let my worthlessness Tell you that you can't get far
8.
Lost 05:15
I've been left here To wither away It's but a small misstep In life's decay I always knew Always knew A son A dissapointment I could have been Should have been So much more I used to be so much more But somewhere along the way Life had another plan for me And now I'm rotting in my own self pity I used to be I used to feel I used to be so much more I used to care so much more I always knew A son A dissapointment
9.
Replacements 04:37
In a glimpse, you turned everything on it's head The darkness saw a light it never had But as time went by, the once peaceful sky Became a stain in my eyes And I know that my once youthfull presence became a thorn in your eye It was what I feared the most The fact that my once cheerful smile would become a knife in your sides The way you fell asleep on the couch was cute at first, but when you chose that over the bed was when it hurt I used to love the way you bit your teeth, but now it's just a boneyard of where your smile used to be It's not the fact that you're pushing me away, it's the thought of someone taking my place. To know that all I could be was never enough to make you happy It was always about myself Even now when someone has taken my place
10.
Passenger 05:56
I don't know who I am I don't care who I am It's just something inside That makes me fall apart I fall apart It's all I know I'm just passing through On my way to the end It's just something inside That makes me fall apart I fall apart It's all I know To fail and to fall Is all I am I'm just passing through On my way to the end It's not something I can escape A passenger I fall apart It's all I know To fail and fall Is all I am
11.
12.

credits

released October 26, 2018

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Stig Erklev Norway

Just a guy from Norway making some metal! I also play bass for the black metal band Flukt. Drop a like on my Facebook @Searchingthearchitect for the latest updates!

You can also find most of my music on Spotify / iTunes

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